Fun cishet sex positions

coolator:

1. Going to bed at 9:30 pm (unless survivor is on)
2. A trip to ikea
3. Turning off the lights and playing the question game
4. Missionary, 3 minutes

punnier:

velma on the streets but daphne in the sheets

courtnog:

okay so if harry potter was born in 1980, and went to hogwarts in like 91, that means he was in his sixth year in 1996
do you think he knew about the spice girls? i mean.. i know he had shit going on with horcruxes that year but wannabe isn’t something that happens without you taking note of it

slayboybunny:

"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person" 
"oh sorry about that sir" 

calliopeisababe:

probably but tell me more

calliopeisababe:

probably but tell me more

dressgoodactbad:

Chick-fil-A more like Chick-fil-Bae

one time in an AP class my senior year a super smart girl said that science was only good when it lined up with the message of god. she literally rejected scientific messages that didn’t agree with the bible. i

dogapult:

how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”

im not nearly as passionate about homestuck as i used to be but goddamn it if every time i watch the mambostuck fan video i immediately want to fuckin jump in a vat of gray paint put on a black wig and type in courier new

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